The Bizarre Adventure of Jojo: Stardust Crusaders
by Shaggy Rower
Summary: The story of Stardust Crusaders told in Shakespearian verse.


**SCENE 1.**

 _Aboard a ship._

 _Enter_ SCAVENGER 1, 2 _&_ 3 _with coffin_

SCAVENGER 1: A'last! Let's open thee.

SCAVENGER 2: Hold! Something 'ere strikes me unwell.

SCAVENGER 3: Hark, what's this? This box doth appear locked from within.

SCAVENGER 1: Does thou think I care? Open it I say!

SCAVENGER 2: But look, a name! D-I-O? Dio? A name perchance?

SCAVENGER 1: Again, does though think I care? The sun departs! Open it I say, and be swift!

 _[Exeunt_ SCAVENGERS 1, 2 _&_ 3. _Enter_ TIME _]_

TIME: One day a ship t'was found alone ou'ta sea with nary a trace o' its crew aboard. No signs of battle did mark it, yet a mystery box did sit ajar. By its design it did appear to hold fortune, stolen away. And yet, a'few months thereafter…

 _[Exeunt_ TIME. _Scene change to_ AIRPORT. _Enter_ HOLLY _and_ JOSEPH JOESTAR _]_

HOLLY: Papa! Oh Papa!

JOSEPH: Holly! _[a man cuts in front of him, who Joseph shoves]_ Begone knave! Oh my Holly! How I have missed thee!

HOLLY: Oh my papa! Thou really didst come.

JOSEPH: Whenever thou art troubled, no matter where I may be thou know'st I shall always arrive in less than a day.

HOLLY: Where is mother?

JOSEPH: I feared this would but distress her, so I did pretend this trip to be of a mercantile nature.

HOLLY: O papa.

JOSEPH: Holly? Would'st thou release me?

HOLLY: Nay! How long 'ere it been since thou held me?

JOSEPH: Look at thou, fourty five summers has thou bore witness to and yet thou act as a mere babe.

HOLLY: How rude! For this I shall tickle thee!

 _[_ HOLLY _tickles_ JOSEPH. _Passers-by watch.]_

JOSEPH: Why doth thou all stare! Aroint thee!

HOLLY: I'll take thou pack.

JOSEPH: Privy thou, about Jotaro… Did he really claim it t'was wicked spectres?

HOLLY: I did'st see another arm, wraithlike in nature, take the sword. Yet as surely as I do swear I saw it, the guard swears to have seen not a thing!

JOSEPH: Other people could see it not, and yet thou could?

HOLLY: Verily.

JOSEPH: And Jotaro claims it did appear recently? Has thou felt anything strange happen to thee?

HOLLY: Nay. Yet I know not what to do! Jotaro professes that he shall not leave the dungeons till he figures out this spellcraft!

JOSEPH: I privy thee cry not. I am here, and so let tranquillity sooth thy soul. Nary, t'was time I did'st meet my grandson Jotaro.

 _[Scene change to_ Dungeons. _Enter_ JOETARO, JOESEPH, HOLLY, ABDUL _and_ GUARD _.]_

GUARD: Cursed cur! Again he practises his sorcery! Nary a soul knows how he came by those things! And to speak not of his warlike disposition! Truly something wicked surrounds him.

JOSEPH: Away with thee! I shall steal my grandson away from here.

GUARD: Go not any closer toward him! Have I not warned thee of the danger possessed of him? Hold me not to bear when –

JOSEPH: – Enough! Enough! Leave this to me.

HOLLY: My son, you grandfather comes 'ere to speak with thee. Surely he might help thee! I pray, go with him!

JOSEPH: Thou will'st come home with me boy, and thou shall do so now!

JOTARO: Begone. Thou believes you might yet help? My pardons that you did travel from New York to here on my behalf, but there is not a thing thou can do to avail my plight. See you this?

JOSEPH: Why! Tis the finger of 'ere my metal hand. When did'st thou take it without my knowledge!

JOTARO: Understand you now the evil that I speak of? Withdraw from here, else thou loose what little remains of thy life.

JOSEPH: _[aside]_ What's this! For a moment my heart not with blood as it aught but fear! I do know the truth behind this spectre that haunt him so, though I am loathe to tell him. For what's to come his strength shall be needed, and methinks it best that he feel this new power with his body. _[onstage]_ Abdul, I privy thee come forward.

 _[Abdul steps forward. Pose]_

JOSEPH: Well met did I this friend in Egypt three summers past. Abdul, I request of thou to pull my grandson from out 'o this cell.

JOTARO: Enough! Thou indeed this fellow doth appear strong thou art dealing with me here. Think you that I would allow a man ugly as this to do with me as he will. You anger me, now I shall ne'er come out.

ABDUL: He may yet be seriously injured Sir Joestar, for to do this I shall have to get violent.

JOSEPH: Then so be it.

HOLLY: Papa! What does thou intend to do?

JOSEPH: Silence.

 _[Abdul poses. Enter_ MAGICIANS RED. _]_

JOTARO: What's this? It appears to be –

JOSEPH: Yes Jotaro, Abdul possesses a wicked spectre as well. With his will he may tame and control it, and its name…

 _[_ MAGICIANS RED _poses.]_

JOSEPH: Is Magicians Red!

 _[_ MAGICIAN'S RED _sprouts fire, pinning_ JOTARO _to the wall.]_

JOTARO: How hot! It burns me, sears the flesh of my arms! What is this dark spirit?

HOLLY: Father! What does he do to my Jotaro!

GUARD: Fire? What fire? Surely there is nothing there! Why then does the boy struggle so?

 _[Enter_ STAR PLATINUM _, grabbing_ MAGICIANS RED's _neck.]_

JOSEPH: Alas, here it is! Jotaro's seems stronger than I did suspect!

GUARD: What happens here? Jotaro moves strangely, and it becomes so hot!

ABDUL: _[Grasping neck]_ Truly I did not foresee this! It appears so clearly, more so than I would have expected!

JOTARO: You possess a evil spirit much like me? Grandfather, thou knew of this?

JOSEPH: Indeed. However like Abdul I did not expect your spirit to appear so readily.

ABDUL: Sir Joestar, thou bade me pull him out of the cell and so I did yet restrain myself. Yet observe my neck. He may yet break it, and as such I must take care lest I endanger my own life. Doth thou wish me to stop? If I yet continue I foresee he shall end up in hospital.

JOSEPH: I bid thee continue.

ABDUL: Understood. Rope of fire!

 _[A gag of flames is placed around_ JOTARO _'s neck._ STAR PLATINUM _and_ MAGICIANS RED _fight.]_

GUARD: What happens here! It is hotter than the fiercest summer, and yet my eyes detect nothing!

HOLLY: What happens here papa?

JOSEPH: Hush my child. I beg thee remain silent.

JOTARO: My breath fades!

JOSEPH: Your spirit doth fade with it. The heat robs thee of your breath. Allow me to tell thee what thine spectre is. For it is a spirit Jotaro, but nary a wicked one. It is a powerful visage born of thou life force that stands by you. Because of this well name it…

 _[Pose]_

JOSEPH: The Stand!

ABDUL: Can thou yet stand more heat Jojo? Will thou leave thine cell?

JOTARO: Hark, thou art presumptuous. I left not this cell for I afeared I may yet hurt someone by unhappy accident. Yet now I know I am not alone I feel not so isolated. I warn thee though, should this continue thou shall surely perish.

 _[_ STAR PLATINUM _breaks the cell bars.]_

GUARD: The bars! They bent themselves!

 _[_ STAR PLATINUM _prepares to throw bars at_ ABDUL, _however he walks away.]_

JOTARO: What's this? You show me your back! Face me!

ABDUL: Sir Joestar, as thou may observe he hath left his cell.

JOTARO: Thou admit defeat?

ABDUL: Nay, for I was prepared to send thee to hospital. Yet your strength was greater than I had yet imagined.

JOTARO: And should I have thrown these here bars at you, what wouldst thou hath done?

ABDUL: My stand, Magicians Red, would so melt those bars with ease.

JOSEPH: Abdul hath the same power as thee, and hence there in no further need for thee to remain in that cell.

 _[_ JOTARO _leaves the cell.]_

HOLLY: _[hugging him]_ A'last , thou comes out!

JOTARO: Wench, thou art annoying!

HOLLY: Tee hee, 'tis so.

JOSEPH: Knave! Call not your mother wench! And Holly, dare not laugh after he does so!

HOLLY: Yes papa.

JOTARO: Grandfather I must know, how didst thou know of my plight… nay, my stand? I understand not.

JOSEPH: Then I shall tell thee, for it is why I did come to New York to begin with. Yet to explain I must to the beginning go back, for it hath much to do with the Joestar family. I pray thee, look at these!

JOTARO: These pictures, what are they?

JOSEPH: Not four summers past this box t'was found off the coast o' Africa. The box now lies in my possession, and is a coffin of some hundred years past. This coffin was once aboard a ship that suffered great tragedy, and that my grandfather did sail on. When we did find this box t'was empty, yet already I knew what once lay inside. Abdul and I art hunting down that man.

JOTARO: That man? Why do you speak as if t'were human? How couldst something that came hence from a box in the belly of the sea be a man?

JOSEPH: Tis like a man, yes, but not wholly. For it is a man so warped by malice that it is not no more than a monster. Its name is Dio, and after slumbering for centuries gone he has awoken. Heed me Jotaro, for tis our destiny to do battle with him.


End file.
